I have one word for you.
GLEE!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Inspired vs Follower
Anyways, my friends and I have this thing going where we've been trying to meet new people or whatever. So far I've met one person.
She is quite possibly one of the most friendly people I've ever met. She's the optimistic, open and laughing type. I've talked to her four times now and wow, the things she's done and the people she's met makes me go damn I've wasted my life. I mean really, would I ever be able to spot someone call out their name and tell them that we needed to be friends and just do so?
Probably not, just the idea of doing that freaks me out.
The joys of being socially awkward and inept hah. But yeah, meeting someone like this made me realize that wow people like this actually exist ya know?
So maybe I'm letting her first year enthusiasm ebb into me a little to actually go through with some of the stuff I want to do. Get involved, meet new people, make new friends, be myself. That along with the needs of keeping my marks up, volunteering more, getting to know my professor(s) and getting into social work.
I think two of the four needs correspond with my wants at least hah.
So anyways, I've been playing around with the idea of talking to one of my profs to see if I can somehow get involved in her research project. At the worst she'll say no and thats that, at the best she'll say yes. I just hope either way I'll get to talk to her a bit more and let her get to know me while getting good marks in that class and getting her as a reference haha. Yes, yes my ulterior motives are so evil >=D
Well other than that, been thinking about other stuff that I won't go into detail about as usual.
OH. And, been seriously contemplated getting a couple tattoos. Nothing big or elaborate, pretty small actually on my wrists. One would be the date my grandpa passed away, and the other would be the female sex symbol (is that what its called?). Thoughts? Should I do it? And even if I do, I need to find a tattoo place that won't overcharge me, isn't too far away and won't give me aids with dirty needles.
She is quite possibly one of the most friendly people I've ever met. She's the optimistic, open and laughing type. I've talked to her four times now and wow, the things she's done and the people she's met makes me go damn I've wasted my life. I mean really, would I ever be able to spot someone call out their name and tell them that we needed to be friends and just do so?
Probably not, just the idea of doing that freaks me out.
The joys of being socially awkward and inept hah. But yeah, meeting someone like this made me realize that wow people like this actually exist ya know?
So maybe I'm letting her first year enthusiasm ebb into me a little to actually go through with some of the stuff I want to do. Get involved, meet new people, make new friends, be myself. That along with the needs of keeping my marks up, volunteering more, getting to know my professor(s) and getting into social work.
I think two of the four needs correspond with my wants at least hah.
So anyways, I've been playing around with the idea of talking to one of my profs to see if I can somehow get involved in her research project. At the worst she'll say no and thats that, at the best she'll say yes. I just hope either way I'll get to talk to her a bit more and let her get to know me while getting good marks in that class and getting her as a reference haha. Yes, yes my ulterior motives are so evil >=D
Well other than that, been thinking about other stuff that I won't go into detail about as usual.
OH. And, been seriously contemplated getting a couple tattoos. Nothing big or elaborate, pretty small actually on my wrists. One would be the date my grandpa passed away, and the other would be the female sex symbol (is that what its called?). Thoughts? Should I do it? And even if I do, I need to find a tattoo place that won't overcharge me, isn't too far away and won't give me aids with dirty needles.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Tired vs Pleased
Say you wake up one morning and you realize that you're no longer your original sex.
1. What is your initial reaction?
2. How would your day be different?
3. How would your family react?
4. How would your partner react?
5. How would your friends react?
5. What if this change was permanent?
My professor asked my class this yesterday. Suffice to say, after the initial reaction of wondering what it would be like to pee standing up. Then I went on to think I'd become a human lab rat as a person doesn't change sexes overnight for absolutely no reason.
Someone else said they'd pee behind a tree standing, have sex with a girl, to play with "it" and generally doing all you could with male junk parts. Everyone laughed.
That is until someone then mentioned, they'd be considered a transgender because they would be a girl stuck in a guy's body. And things became a whole lot more serious in that instant, I enjoy these discussions because it just shows whose thinking about the issue at hand and who isn't.
Just because of this discussion? This is my favourite class. My philo class is a close second since we spent my first three classes talking about sex. And if I heard correctly we'll be on this topic for a long time.
1. What is your initial reaction?
2. How would your day be different?
3. How would your family react?
4. How would your partner react?
5. How would your friends react?
5. What if this change was permanent?
My professor asked my class this yesterday. Suffice to say, after the initial reaction of wondering what it would be like to pee standing up. Then I went on to think I'd become a human lab rat as a person doesn't change sexes overnight for absolutely no reason.
Someone else said they'd pee behind a tree standing, have sex with a girl, to play with "it" and generally doing all you could with male junk parts. Everyone laughed.
That is until someone then mentioned, they'd be considered a transgender because they would be a girl stuck in a guy's body. And things became a whole lot more serious in that instant, I enjoy these discussions because it just shows whose thinking about the issue at hand and who isn't.
Just because of this discussion? This is my favourite class. My philo class is a close second since we spent my first three classes talking about sex. And if I heard correctly we'll be on this topic for a long time.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Yeah I know I have problems.
Real vs Fake (warning, srsly weird thoughts)
I think a lot when I'm alone, sometimes when I'm just in that mind frame.
...sometimes I wonder, because what I think about helps me figure out who I am. Cause, let's face it, that's a major question that most people don't have the answer to. But because I'm thinking so much, I'm not sure if what I discover about myself is real. Or if I just think and come to these conclusions because I want them. The answers to the question that is.
Is it really possible for a humble person to admit they're humble? Probably not. Is it possible for a modest person to admit they're modest? Unlikely.
So in that example. If a modest person sees that they are not modest but selfish, then they're modest because they believe they're selfish even though others may not see so. It's a dizzying circle, because people will say only what you think matters. Yet at the same time sometimes what you think is wrong, and then you have to come to the terms that what others think is right and then you need to understand why they're right and you're wrong.
It's really just going around in circles. I don't even know if what I'm typing is making any sense but this is all that I'm thinking about right now.
I can say I analyze myself. I've been trying to do that for years now, since the first year of high school I think. And as I think more and I try to figure out all the little pieces of me that make me tick, I come to the conclusion that I'm arrogant and selfish and narcissistic.
Everyone is like that even a little right?
And even as I recognize these features in me, even though I want to change it's hard. Because it's not like how stories say. What I say, what I do. Theres no process of planning in strategy, not unless it's a scheduled presentation or conversation.
Even then. Emotions get the better of a person. You'll say something you'll regret, you'll do something you can't believe you do and then you look back on it cringe and hope you'll do better. That you'll change. It's hard, and unless there is someone watching actively and helping you remind yourself not to do or say certain things- let's face it these impulsive things become a habit. And habits are hard to change.
...sometimes I wonder, because what I think about helps me figure out who I am. Cause, let's face it, that's a major question that most people don't have the answer to. But because I'm thinking so much, I'm not sure if what I discover about myself is real. Or if I just think and come to these conclusions because I want them. The answers to the question that is.
Is it really possible for a humble person to admit they're humble? Probably not. Is it possible for a modest person to admit they're modest? Unlikely.
So in that example. If a modest person sees that they are not modest but selfish, then they're modest because they believe they're selfish even though others may not see so. It's a dizzying circle, because people will say only what you think matters. Yet at the same time sometimes what you think is wrong, and then you have to come to the terms that what others think is right and then you need to understand why they're right and you're wrong.
It's really just going around in circles. I don't even know if what I'm typing is making any sense but this is all that I'm thinking about right now.
I can say I analyze myself. I've been trying to do that for years now, since the first year of high school I think. And as I think more and I try to figure out all the little pieces of me that make me tick, I come to the conclusion that I'm arrogant and selfish and narcissistic.
Everyone is like that even a little right?
And even as I recognize these features in me, even though I want to change it's hard. Because it's not like how stories say. What I say, what I do. Theres no process of planning in strategy, not unless it's a scheduled presentation or conversation.
Even then. Emotions get the better of a person. You'll say something you'll regret, you'll do something you can't believe you do and then you look back on it cringe and hope you'll do better. That you'll change. It's hard, and unless there is someone watching actively and helping you remind yourself not to do or say certain things- let's face it these impulsive things become a habit. And habits are hard to change.
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