I'm sure people can tell that I try to be as open minded as possible about things and I like to think I try my best now to be accepting and as non-prejudice as possible. This could possibly be because I'm a member of a large variety of groups who are stereotyped, and hated.
I identify as female, I'm Chinese and I'm pretty gay. (I'm getting better at saying that word now see?)
I mean the most discrimination I face from day to day is because I'm female. But that's mostly from my family- which is kinda sad actually but anyways. I didn't really realize it until my prof mentioned it in my women studies class last week how completely divided the groups of the oppressed were. I mean in the end we're all fighting for the rights to live in society as who we are. And our suppressors are mostly of the same origin as well.
I don't want to sound accusatory when I say the adult white males of society. But honestly that's really where most suppressors originate from. I'm not turning in the typical feminist when I say patriarchy- I'm saying it because it's the freakin' truth. Our society runs on the societal cultural norms created by European- white- patriarchal society. And the only reason this idea has become such an issue that mostly receives snorts and eye rolls is because those white male suppressors who hold most of the powerful positions in societal make it seems eye-rolling necessary. It makes it seem completely ridiculous and is a notion that should be regarded with only exasperation. It's what they want, and they succeed every day.
Anyways, with oppressed populations of the people divided and in various cases against each other it's no wonder it takes such a longer time for things to be changed and dealt with. As the saying goes divide and conquer, and in the case of all the different kind of human rights in the world we need to be united in order for things to change quicker and for the better.
I get it though. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you're not sexist, or racist and the same can be definitely said about the others. But if you think about it for people like me in which you're a member of more than just one oppressed group, it's kind of puzzling why one earth you're fighting for rights for only one aspect of who you are.
On one hand you're fighting for equal rights in the workplace for men and women, the next you're doing it again for non-Caucasians and then you're doing it again and again. It's the same with various areas that people fight for equity and equality for. It happened with interracial marriage and now it's happening with same-sex marriage. I mean even if it were reversed and same-sex marriage was accepted and interracial wasn't things would be no different if you were in an interracial same--sex relationship.
Doesn't it just make so much more sense if people were to put aside their differences and strive for a goal they all want? Just because you may not be included in a certain group of people doesn't mean you shouldn't care about them. They're still people and they still have rights, freedoms and feelings. Isn't that enough to grant them the equal rights that everyone wants?
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Gender Neutral Parenting: Natural vs Forced
I recently read an article on the ten myths on gender neutral parenting. You can read it here
We've talked about it a little in my Gender Relations class last semester but other than that, I think the conclusion the prof settled on was that people focus too much on girl and boy which I agree with completely. I think raising a child with gender neutrality in mind is a great thing, it's the beginning of breaking stereotypical gender roles which are so prevalent in society that it limits males and females form being completely themselves for fear of appearing not their gender.
And I think when it comes to raising kids you should let them be who they are, which is why when I read about transsexual kids nowadays I get super hopeful for a better future. But you know on TV or even listening to others talk about it, it really seems like they're forcing it too much.
I get it. I do. But here's an example of what really bothers me.
Yellow has somehow become known as a gender neutral colour.
The problem is that why is yellow a gender neutral colour? Why can't pink or blue, or green? Aren't all colours gender neutral?
If you think yellow is a gender neutral colour you're inadvertently reinforcing the idea that pink is for girls and that blue and green are for boys. You know what would be easier? Keeping the room white, and then painting it when your kid has a favourite colour by their own opinion and choice.
It really bothers me when you go walk through the baby's clothing section and see all the girl's clothes are pink and have Dora the Explorer on it and the boy's clothes actually have a variety of colours sporting cars, and horses and power rangers and stuff.
My professor mentioned that this one couple kept the sex of their newborn baby a secret because they didn't think it mattered. Because it doesn't. Whether their child is a boy or a girl, it really doesn't and yet their friends and family got so outraged about it they got angry phone calls and emails. It's completely insane how much society puts so much emphasis on someone's gender, on their sex.
The first thing someone asks when a child is born is their sex. Not if they're healthy, not if the mother is ok, not if there were any complications during the birth. The first thing they ask, that they need to desperately know is the baby's sex.
The child will gain their own interests whether they're along the lines of typical female or male interests then thats, that. Children don't need their parents to coddle them into gender roles. Society does that all on it's own, the parents should be the ones guiding their children to be themselves, they should be there to support their children no matter their interests or their preferences. They should be there with their children to fight against society in order for their children to live happily as them, not what other people tell them to be.
Gender neutrality isn't about painting the walls yellow and making their clothes yellow. It's not about not buying your kid dolls or cars to play with. It's about letting your kid grow up to like what they like and to be who they are. It's about loving them and caring for them not caring about the opinions of others.
If I ever have a daughter who likes pink, wears dresses, make-up and dates boys I won't care as long as she's safe, happy and being who they want to be. Or if I have a daughter who grew up like me hating dresses, never wearing make up and for the first 12 years of her life hating the colour pink I'll be just fine with that too.
We've talked about it a little in my Gender Relations class last semester but other than that, I think the conclusion the prof settled on was that people focus too much on girl and boy which I agree with completely. I think raising a child with gender neutrality in mind is a great thing, it's the beginning of breaking stereotypical gender roles which are so prevalent in society that it limits males and females form being completely themselves for fear of appearing not their gender.
And I think when it comes to raising kids you should let them be who they are, which is why when I read about transsexual kids nowadays I get super hopeful for a better future. But you know on TV or even listening to others talk about it, it really seems like they're forcing it too much.
I get it. I do. But here's an example of what really bothers me.
Yellow has somehow become known as a gender neutral colour.
The problem is that why is yellow a gender neutral colour? Why can't pink or blue, or green? Aren't all colours gender neutral?
If you think yellow is a gender neutral colour you're inadvertently reinforcing the idea that pink is for girls and that blue and green are for boys. You know what would be easier? Keeping the room white, and then painting it when your kid has a favourite colour by their own opinion and choice.
It really bothers me when you go walk through the baby's clothing section and see all the girl's clothes are pink and have Dora the Explorer on it and the boy's clothes actually have a variety of colours sporting cars, and horses and power rangers and stuff.
My professor mentioned that this one couple kept the sex of their newborn baby a secret because they didn't think it mattered. Because it doesn't. Whether their child is a boy or a girl, it really doesn't and yet their friends and family got so outraged about it they got angry phone calls and emails. It's completely insane how much society puts so much emphasis on someone's gender, on their sex.
The first thing someone asks when a child is born is their sex. Not if they're healthy, not if the mother is ok, not if there were any complications during the birth. The first thing they ask, that they need to desperately know is the baby's sex.
The child will gain their own interests whether they're along the lines of typical female or male interests then thats, that. Children don't need their parents to coddle them into gender roles. Society does that all on it's own, the parents should be the ones guiding their children to be themselves, they should be there to support their children no matter their interests or their preferences. They should be there with their children to fight against society in order for their children to live happily as them, not what other people tell them to be.
Gender neutrality isn't about painting the walls yellow and making their clothes yellow. It's not about not buying your kid dolls or cars to play with. It's about letting your kid grow up to like what they like and to be who they are. It's about loving them and caring for them not caring about the opinions of others.
If I ever have a daughter who likes pink, wears dresses, make-up and dates boys I won't care as long as she's safe, happy and being who they want to be. Or if I have a daughter who grew up like me hating dresses, never wearing make up and for the first 12 years of her life hating the colour pink I'll be just fine with that too.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Ugly crying vs. Horrible sobbing
As the title suggests I was crying quite hard like a minute in. Ugh, it's just...so horrible. As horrible as this makes America, this is all over the world. Rewatching it now and crying again. Going to bed and weeping now.
Asking vs. Sort of Answering
When people ask me what I'm majoring in which I have one long answer.
First I say Sociology, then I add in that I'm planning on transferring into Social Work.
For the response theres a 50/50 chance of what it'll be.
1) What's Sociology?
2) Oh, Social work.
Clearly people are either not impressed by my chosen career, or they decide to ask me the hardest question to answer for me.
As I'm usually too lazy I just say it's the study of society.
But here's a nice little written post by someone, it doesn't explain Sociology but everything it says is basically what I love about the field of study. I like most of what's written in it.
"Society is going to try to shape you into who it thinks you are meant to be. It’s going to label you. It’s going to set a path for your life and make it very difficult to deviate from it. It’s going to bombard you from every angle and tell you over and over and over again that this is who you are meant to be.
But that doesn’t mean it’s true."
the entire thing is here
I plan on minoring in sociology if I get into Social Work. Mostly because Sociology has taught me so much about how people behave in populations. That the expected parts of life, aren't set in stone and there is so much more, there is so much possibility. I like to think that I've learned to become a better person through Sociology.
And I want to be able to apply what I've learned from my Soci lessons into an applicable career in which human perspective, understanding and openness and honestly help people who are misunderstood, undermined and feared.
First I say Sociology, then I add in that I'm planning on transferring into Social Work.
For the response theres a 50/50 chance of what it'll be.
1) What's Sociology?
2) Oh, Social work.
Clearly people are either not impressed by my chosen career, or they decide to ask me the hardest question to answer for me.
As I'm usually too lazy I just say it's the study of society.
But here's a nice little written post by someone, it doesn't explain Sociology but everything it says is basically what I love about the field of study. I like most of what's written in it.
"Society is going to try to shape you into who it thinks you are meant to be. It’s going to label you. It’s going to set a path for your life and make it very difficult to deviate from it. It’s going to bombard you from every angle and tell you over and over and over again that this is who you are meant to be.
But that doesn’t mean it’s true."
the entire thing is here
I plan on minoring in sociology if I get into Social Work. Mostly because Sociology has taught me so much about how people behave in populations. That the expected parts of life, aren't set in stone and there is so much more, there is so much possibility. I like to think that I've learned to become a better person through Sociology.
And I want to be able to apply what I've learned from my Soci lessons into an applicable career in which human perspective, understanding and openness and honestly help people who are misunderstood, undermined and feared.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Fuck. I seriously hope my credit card hasn't be jacked. I really don't need to go through this again.
Just checked my online statement and got charged like 230 dollars from Amazon.com. Thing is I don't use Amazon.com I use amazon.ca and Amazon.ca shows up as Amazon.ca not Amazon.com. Meaning Amazon is screwing me over or I need to cancel my credit AGAIN and have them look in this. AGAIN. FML.
Just checked my online statement and got charged like 230 dollars from Amazon.com. Thing is I don't use Amazon.com I use amazon.ca and Amazon.ca shows up as Amazon.ca not Amazon.com. Meaning Amazon is screwing me over or I need to cancel my credit AGAIN and have them look in this. AGAIN. FML.
Friday, January 13, 2012
WHAT THE FUCK
Apparently if you're a same-sex couple that got married in Canada whose not Canadian your marriage license is fake. Meaning you got charged 5000 dollars for a fake marriage certificate. The only way your same-sex marriage is real is it you're Canadian, or if you live in a place in which same-sex marriage is acknowledged which means all those Americans who don't live in those few states that recognize same-sex marriage. Well that marriage ceremony you had up here in Vancouver? Yah that was a fake marriage and that marriage certificate you hold? Not valid.
Seriously, what the hell?
As the saying goes what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Or in this case.
When married in Canada you're really only married if you stay in Canada or live in a pro-same-sex area, which makes you question why you got married in Canada in the first place.
Seriously, what the hell?
As the saying goes what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Or in this case.
When married in Canada you're really only married if you stay in Canada or live in a pro-same-sex area, which makes you question why you got married in Canada in the first place.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Rumours and Lies vs Truths and Reality
Here's a shocker.
I'm a feminist.
Bam.
Here's another shocker.
The majority of people who say they're not a feminist are.
Gasp.
The sad thing is, is that society has let anti-feminist propaganda give women's movements and feminism a bad connotation. Which if you think makes no sense since if you ask so many people would agree that they support women's equality politically, economically and socially. And yet they go along with the stereotypes anti-feminists- AKA organizations who don't support women's rights at all- have spread.
One of the things people bring up about feminism is that without it women wouldn't be able to vote. True, but there are so many other things. Thanks to feminist movements women have gained so many things that we take for granted now.
-access to contraceptives
-the right to work outside the home
-equal pay for equal work (sort of)
-the right to refuse sex, even with their partner
-able to receive a higher education
-access to safe and legal abortion
-able to participate in sports
-able to hold a political office
-able to choose any career of interest
-freedom from sexual harassment in the workplace
-able to enter legal and financial transactions (AKA have your own credit score, get loans etc.)
-able to study issues about women's lives and experiences
And thats only the beginning. Still, despite all our progress and people's belief that the women's movement is over and isn't needed anymore it's completely untrue. 80% of these people are men unsurprisingly but over 60^ of women believe this too.
Unfortunately women still make 72 cents for every dollar a man makes. Are still subjected to career stereotypes and expectations. Are expected to not only have a successful career but to also deal with housework at the same time. Women have gained the right to do as much as a man, but they have not yet gained the right to do as little as a man. Shocker there right?
I don't want to clutter this post with everything from my lecture and my text. But the entire time I thought I was just being traditional - AKA anything pertaining my parent's ideals or wishes. I'm complying and submitting myself to the oppressing force of society telling women to be passive. While this entire time I've thought I've grown into a person not entirely along with my parent's wants- I've realized I haven't strayed and come into myself as much as I had thought.
It's...strange to realize you encompass so many desired qualities of a female from a time in which women were oppressed, sexually harassed and used.
I'm not saying I hate myself now or anything. But it would be nice sometimes to be y'know less emotional, less sensitive, more aggressive, less passive and more outspoken about my values and my beliefs. And as much as I try and want to be a person who contributes to the movement of women or of the lgbt community or whatever, it's really very hard.
Especially when one of your largest opponents is your family.
But this post isn't so much about me and my family situation. I just thought I'd like to alleviate some of those rumours, stereotypes and lies about being a feminist. The 5 most common myths of about being a feminist are as follows.
1.we are an angry group who are whiny and exaggerate discrimination
2. we hate all men or want to be men
3. we're all lesbians
4. we reject motherhood
5. the woman's movement draws away from other social and economic problems
Despite my example of being a sexually fluid female who has a like/irritated relationship with the male gender I don't hate them- and despite my personal situation no I don't want to be a man, I identify with the female gender so there. Again, shocker. I've wanted to be a mother since I was like 10, and despite my angry seemingly biased opinions the discrimination women face are serious problems that aren't talked about only in woman studies. Once again, shocker. And as selfish as humans are feminists have contributed to a number of other social movements other than the woman's movement and in some cases have spearheaded other ones one of the most prominent being the anti-slave movement that occur ed years ago.
So there. I'm done and I'm going to sleep now and I hope ya'll realize being a feminist isn't bad at all. Hell I'm proud to be one and I don't see why I wouldn't be.
I'm a feminist.
Bam.
Here's another shocker.
The majority of people who say they're not a feminist are.
Gasp.
The sad thing is, is that society has let anti-feminist propaganda give women's movements and feminism a bad connotation. Which if you think makes no sense since if you ask so many people would agree that they support women's equality politically, economically and socially. And yet they go along with the stereotypes anti-feminists- AKA organizations who don't support women's rights at all- have spread.
One of the things people bring up about feminism is that without it women wouldn't be able to vote. True, but there are so many other things. Thanks to feminist movements women have gained so many things that we take for granted now.
-access to contraceptives
-the right to work outside the home
-equal pay for equal work (sort of)
-the right to refuse sex, even with their partner
-able to receive a higher education
-access to safe and legal abortion
-able to participate in sports
-able to hold a political office
-able to choose any career of interest
-freedom from sexual harassment in the workplace
-able to enter legal and financial transactions (AKA have your own credit score, get loans etc.)
-able to study issues about women's lives and experiences
And thats only the beginning. Still, despite all our progress and people's belief that the women's movement is over and isn't needed anymore it's completely untrue. 80% of these people are men unsurprisingly but over 60^ of women believe this too.
Unfortunately women still make 72 cents for every dollar a man makes. Are still subjected to career stereotypes and expectations. Are expected to not only have a successful career but to also deal with housework at the same time. Women have gained the right to do as much as a man, but they have not yet gained the right to do as little as a man. Shocker there right?
I don't want to clutter this post with everything from my lecture and my text. But the entire time I thought I was just being traditional - AKA anything pertaining my parent's ideals or wishes. I'm complying and submitting myself to the oppressing force of society telling women to be passive. While this entire time I've thought I've grown into a person not entirely along with my parent's wants- I've realized I haven't strayed and come into myself as much as I had thought.
It's...strange to realize you encompass so many desired qualities of a female from a time in which women were oppressed, sexually harassed and used.
I'm not saying I hate myself now or anything. But it would be nice sometimes to be y'know less emotional, less sensitive, more aggressive, less passive and more outspoken about my values and my beliefs. And as much as I try and want to be a person who contributes to the movement of women or of the lgbt community or whatever, it's really very hard.
Especially when one of your largest opponents is your family.
But this post isn't so much about me and my family situation. I just thought I'd like to alleviate some of those rumours, stereotypes and lies about being a feminist. The 5 most common myths of about being a feminist are as follows.
1.we are an angry group who are whiny and exaggerate discrimination
2. we hate all men or want to be men
3. we're all lesbians
4. we reject motherhood
5. the woman's movement draws away from other social and economic problems
Despite my example of being a sexually fluid female who has a like/irritated relationship with the male gender I don't hate them- and despite my personal situation no I don't want to be a man, I identify with the female gender so there. Again, shocker. I've wanted to be a mother since I was like 10, and despite my angry seemingly biased opinions the discrimination women face are serious problems that aren't talked about only in woman studies. Once again, shocker. And as selfish as humans are feminists have contributed to a number of other social movements other than the woman's movement and in some cases have spearheaded other ones one of the most prominent being the anti-slave movement that occur ed years ago.
So there. I'm done and I'm going to sleep now and I hope ya'll realize being a feminist isn't bad at all. Hell I'm proud to be one and I don't see why I wouldn't be.
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