It wasn't too long ago I was both laughing and shaking my head at a post I saw on Tumblr where a man admitted to bribing his gay son with new laptops and such to not be gay.
To me it just spoke how completely ignorant and terrible some people can be. On the other hand his son is getting a lot of new nice stuff while at the same time suffering at the hand knowing his parents have decided spoiling and bribing him is a great way of shaping his character. That they will literally buy and do anything to make sure he is 'normal'.
I am pretty unfit so when my parents told me they would buy me a car if I got in better shape I wasn't sure how to react. I mean a car would be nice- if i could you know DRIVE. Honestly I rather have a new computer but I think that would go against what they want for me. Unbeknowst to them I've already been eating better and actually excersising, shocker I know. Of course now I've messed up the nerves in my foot or something and I can't walk without sharp pain to go through my right foot so meh.
Also I'm pretty sure Vic knows about me. It's kind of freaking me out cause he's being all supportive and stuff and shows me all these lgbt articles. Of course then he says something douchebaggy and then I don't know anymore.
I'm not sure if this post was about lgbt stuff or my parents bribing me to get off the computer and going outside more.
----
Which reminds me, my mom wants me to apply for a full time job for a call centre for the government. The pay is pretty great around 50k annually, I really need an income if I want to get a PC and ever move out of my parent's place. But the thing is I would have to drop out of school to work, my mom says she wants me to work a year and then go back but I don't think I would go back if I stopped.
I don't know she's getting Victor to apply too. I guess I'll apply and see if I get an interview before I decide anything. Knowing me though I won't get passed the interview. I'm no good at formal things sigh.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Gender Neutral Parenting: Natural vs Forced
I recently read an article on the ten myths on gender neutral parenting. You can read it here
We've talked about it a little in my Gender Relations class last semester but other than that, I think the conclusion the prof settled on was that people focus too much on girl and boy which I agree with completely. I think raising a child with gender neutrality in mind is a great thing, it's the beginning of breaking stereotypical gender roles which are so prevalent in society that it limits males and females form being completely themselves for fear of appearing not their gender.
And I think when it comes to raising kids you should let them be who they are, which is why when I read about transsexual kids nowadays I get super hopeful for a better future. But you know on TV or even listening to others talk about it, it really seems like they're forcing it too much.
I get it. I do. But here's an example of what really bothers me.
Yellow has somehow become known as a gender neutral colour.
The problem is that why is yellow a gender neutral colour? Why can't pink or blue, or green? Aren't all colours gender neutral?
If you think yellow is a gender neutral colour you're inadvertently reinforcing the idea that pink is for girls and that blue and green are for boys. You know what would be easier? Keeping the room white, and then painting it when your kid has a favourite colour by their own opinion and choice.
It really bothers me when you go walk through the baby's clothing section and see all the girl's clothes are pink and have Dora the Explorer on it and the boy's clothes actually have a variety of colours sporting cars, and horses and power rangers and stuff.
My professor mentioned that this one couple kept the sex of their newborn baby a secret because they didn't think it mattered. Because it doesn't. Whether their child is a boy or a girl, it really doesn't and yet their friends and family got so outraged about it they got angry phone calls and emails. It's completely insane how much society puts so much emphasis on someone's gender, on their sex.
The first thing someone asks when a child is born is their sex. Not if they're healthy, not if the mother is ok, not if there were any complications during the birth. The first thing they ask, that they need to desperately know is the baby's sex.
The child will gain their own interests whether they're along the lines of typical female or male interests then thats, that. Children don't need their parents to coddle them into gender roles. Society does that all on it's own, the parents should be the ones guiding their children to be themselves, they should be there to support their children no matter their interests or their preferences. They should be there with their children to fight against society in order for their children to live happily as them, not what other people tell them to be.
Gender neutrality isn't about painting the walls yellow and making their clothes yellow. It's not about not buying your kid dolls or cars to play with. It's about letting your kid grow up to like what they like and to be who they are. It's about loving them and caring for them not caring about the opinions of others.
If I ever have a daughter who likes pink, wears dresses, make-up and dates boys I won't care as long as she's safe, happy and being who they want to be. Or if I have a daughter who grew up like me hating dresses, never wearing make up and for the first 12 years of her life hating the colour pink I'll be just fine with that too.
We've talked about it a little in my Gender Relations class last semester but other than that, I think the conclusion the prof settled on was that people focus too much on girl and boy which I agree with completely. I think raising a child with gender neutrality in mind is a great thing, it's the beginning of breaking stereotypical gender roles which are so prevalent in society that it limits males and females form being completely themselves for fear of appearing not their gender.
And I think when it comes to raising kids you should let them be who they are, which is why when I read about transsexual kids nowadays I get super hopeful for a better future. But you know on TV or even listening to others talk about it, it really seems like they're forcing it too much.
I get it. I do. But here's an example of what really bothers me.
Yellow has somehow become known as a gender neutral colour.
The problem is that why is yellow a gender neutral colour? Why can't pink or blue, or green? Aren't all colours gender neutral?
If you think yellow is a gender neutral colour you're inadvertently reinforcing the idea that pink is for girls and that blue and green are for boys. You know what would be easier? Keeping the room white, and then painting it when your kid has a favourite colour by their own opinion and choice.
It really bothers me when you go walk through the baby's clothing section and see all the girl's clothes are pink and have Dora the Explorer on it and the boy's clothes actually have a variety of colours sporting cars, and horses and power rangers and stuff.
My professor mentioned that this one couple kept the sex of their newborn baby a secret because they didn't think it mattered. Because it doesn't. Whether their child is a boy or a girl, it really doesn't and yet their friends and family got so outraged about it they got angry phone calls and emails. It's completely insane how much society puts so much emphasis on someone's gender, on their sex.
The first thing someone asks when a child is born is their sex. Not if they're healthy, not if the mother is ok, not if there were any complications during the birth. The first thing they ask, that they need to desperately know is the baby's sex.
The child will gain their own interests whether they're along the lines of typical female or male interests then thats, that. Children don't need their parents to coddle them into gender roles. Society does that all on it's own, the parents should be the ones guiding their children to be themselves, they should be there to support their children no matter their interests or their preferences. They should be there with their children to fight against society in order for their children to live happily as them, not what other people tell them to be.
Gender neutrality isn't about painting the walls yellow and making their clothes yellow. It's not about not buying your kid dolls or cars to play with. It's about letting your kid grow up to like what they like and to be who they are. It's about loving them and caring for them not caring about the opinions of others.
If I ever have a daughter who likes pink, wears dresses, make-up and dates boys I won't care as long as she's safe, happy and being who they want to be. Or if I have a daughter who grew up like me hating dresses, never wearing make up and for the first 12 years of her life hating the colour pink I'll be just fine with that too.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Honesty vs. Truth
I honestly feel sorry for my future kids if they end up being gay.
Kid: "Mom?"
Me: "Yeah?"
Kid: "...would you still love me if...I was gay?"
Me: "...are you gay?"
Kid: "Yes."
Me: "OH MY GOD YES COME HERE NEW FAVORITE CHILD I KNEW I RAISED YOU RIGHT GIVE ME A HUG I'M MAKING COOKIES DO YOU WANT A NEW CAR HERE PUT GLEE IN THE DVD PLAYER WE'RE HAVING A PARTY."
Kid: "Mom?"
Me: "Yeah?"
Kid: "...would you still love me if...I was gay?"
Me: "...are you gay?"
Kid: "Yes."
Me: "OH MY GOD YES COME HERE NEW FAVORITE CHILD I KNEW I RAISED YOU RIGHT GIVE ME A HUG I'M MAKING COOKIES DO YOU WANT A NEW CAR HERE PUT GLEE IN THE DVD PLAYER WE'RE HAVING A PARTY."
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