I just realized like 5 minutes ago how much I am like my mom.
It's horrifying, amusing and a slap in the face.
It wasn't like anything bad that she did, but she was doing this thing telling me what to eat tomorrow for lunch while waving her arms around like a small cute maniac. Yeah. Sound familiar? Yeah.
Seriously, I was like OMG when I saw that.
Add to that, I'm a pretty big gossip now that I think about it.
I'm not sure if I like the idea of me being a gossip.
Is it genetics? Maybe, doubt it. I mean I grew up seeing my mom as my most favourite person in the entire world, I probably did the whole "monkey see, monkey do" thing. Still, it was a disturbing realization that makes a lot of sense.
I mean I still remember when I was a kid and I was just as narrow minded as my mom. I suppose in some ways I'm still trying to shed a lot of those beliefs and values that I learned from her. I like to think I've come into myself more as a person than when I was a small child doing everything my parents told me to.
But well, habits and learned behaviour like that is hard to just leave behind.
Like for example, I still try to do so much to please my parents. A compliment from either of them is like water in a desert. I got one tonight and it filled me with some much pride and I was so pleased with myself. Then I realized I was being ridiculous and popped my balloon to let myself fall to the level to ask myself why it was they couldn't be happy like that for me when I do things that I want to do?
But I guess it's a pretty natural thing for kids to always want to please their parents.
Also, still trying to get over my paranoid, self-conscious and even narcissistic thinking that I'm always being judged by those around me. What I wear, what I do, who I am. Some things I'm cool with, because being a tomboy? That's nothing. Being a feminist? A little dicier just because I hate confrontation, but I'm not going to lie about it.
I've placed myself in a position where I'm constantly trying to please my parents and "save face" in public. Ugh don't even get me talking about what I was thinking when I was coming home on the bus.
So yeah, like mother like daughter. Some things I don't mind, others? Fuck, I don't want to become my mom guys, I really don't. I doubt I will, but there's always that idea that I might lurking around.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
Physical Heath vs. Looks
I was originally going to just post about the website RainyMood.com where you can listen to the sound of rain. It's a great relaxation method, and honestly I just love the sound of rain. (check it out!)
But while I was looking up other's blogs to catch up- because I'm really bad at that- I looked on my last blog and started thinking about probably one of the touchiest subjects that I- and many others don't enjoy talking about.
But while I was looking up other's blogs to catch up- because I'm really bad at that- I looked on my last blog and started thinking about probably one of the touchiest subjects that I- and many others don't enjoy talking about.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Conflicted vs. Accepted
I've posted before about the binary gender system that's instilled in us in most cultures and nations of our world. How people have to split things as male and female, how males can only do some things and females should only do others.
I've ranted about how people shouldn't be limiting themselves to that stereotype and limiting others. I firmly believe that ideas of femininity and masculinity are completely arbitrary in what they are and that we as humans decided at some point that this is a girl thing and that is a guy thing. And for some reason if someone or a group of people don't follow that same arbitrary thinking there is something wrong with them.
It also leads to my own personal issues of labelling myself beyond the word gay or even queer. To be honest I rather not use either and just say that I'm me. Because in the end when it comes to sexual attraction or romantic attraction or hell a platonic friendly likability it all depends on a person's qualities not body parts they have or how many X's or Y's they were born with.
Isn't it possible that everyone is pansexual- AKA open to everything and just so happens that the qualities you're attracted to can categorize and limit you to the labels that society for some reason persists on using?
It's not that I haven't found a label that pertains to me, but I rather not continue the mainstream and follow society's commands that I must label myself because for some reason other people cannot take the fact that I am just me and not just a number you can shove under a generalized identity.
At the same time it's conflicting for me when I think about breaking out of the gender binary system when it comes to those going through transitions. After all people often group transgenders, transexuals and intersexed individuals under one thing when they're very different.
After all to be transgender is defined as an individual who does not identify with the gender label they were born with- however do not go through a physical transition to match the gender they do see themselves as. Transexuals are those that do go through physical transition and intersexed are those who were born with reproductive parts of both male and female.
It's confusing because while I firmly believe that those transgendered should do whatever makes them happy whether that be using a different pronoun or taking hormone therapy, I've noticed that a good amount of them freeing themselves from one gender stereotype only to put themselves in the other. There is a very firm one to one transition that happens, and most transgenders and transexuals abide by these mostly because of a long period of being seen as the gender they are not. It probably stems from the fact that they are so eager to want others to see them as the gender they actually are that they go along with society's views of the stereotypes.
While I'm very glad that trans rights are becoming a bigger priority in recent years, it's also unfortunate that they're just another group that emphasizes the "importance" that the gender binary system holds in out current society. I'd like to see more people talking about the intersexed because they often have to face with a lot of internal and external conflict because while their gender may match their sex there is not actual name for them other than intersex- despite the large spectrum of variations that could occur.
It is hypocritical for me to say that it's unfortunate these intersex people cannot label themselves, but the only way for attention and concern to be brought up for others is for a name to be given to everything. Humans like to categorize things, they like label things. There have been names that were created but they never caught on or really stuck around. More than often people simply use their own pronoun and insist on an other option when asked about their gender or sex.
It's great that some individuals have such a firm grip on their self-identity, but it's a long road to get to that point. To be able to question a part of yourself that the rest of society sees as a basic foundation to be human, is the path to getting to know yourself better. It was mentioned in a documentary I watched but the speaker had been correct that this questioning "makes you stronger as a person".
Our current society as it is, isn't ready for anything as radical as the degeneration of the gender binary system. And honestly I don't think it ever will be. Some stereotypes may fade but others will rise in their place. The very idea and recognition that there is a gender binary takes a blunt pointing out to and isn't offered until much high education and that is only if you take the right courses.
It isn't only evolution that takes years to occur but so does a cultural change to the basic foundations of human identity. Hell, in the amount of time it would take for it to occur, the human brain may degenerate enough that we can't even do deeper thinking.
What I had wanted to mention was how despite my agreement that the gender binary is rubbish, I still manage to be supportive of the LGBT community and especially the trans one. And at the same time I fight with the thought of giving myself a label just so it would be easier for others and myself. It's so much easier after all to say and think that I'm attracted to femininity (especially since femininity is completely arbitrary) than simply being open to everything that may enter my life.
I've ranted about how people shouldn't be limiting themselves to that stereotype and limiting others. I firmly believe that ideas of femininity and masculinity are completely arbitrary in what they are and that we as humans decided at some point that this is a girl thing and that is a guy thing. And for some reason if someone or a group of people don't follow that same arbitrary thinking there is something wrong with them.
It also leads to my own personal issues of labelling myself beyond the word gay or even queer. To be honest I rather not use either and just say that I'm me. Because in the end when it comes to sexual attraction or romantic attraction or hell a platonic friendly likability it all depends on a person's qualities not body parts they have or how many X's or Y's they were born with.
Isn't it possible that everyone is pansexual- AKA open to everything and just so happens that the qualities you're attracted to can categorize and limit you to the labels that society for some reason persists on using?
It's not that I haven't found a label that pertains to me, but I rather not continue the mainstream and follow society's commands that I must label myself because for some reason other people cannot take the fact that I am just me and not just a number you can shove under a generalized identity.
At the same time it's conflicting for me when I think about breaking out of the gender binary system when it comes to those going through transitions. After all people often group transgenders, transexuals and intersexed individuals under one thing when they're very different.
After all to be transgender is defined as an individual who does not identify with the gender label they were born with- however do not go through a physical transition to match the gender they do see themselves as. Transexuals are those that do go through physical transition and intersexed are those who were born with reproductive parts of both male and female.
It's confusing because while I firmly believe that those transgendered should do whatever makes them happy whether that be using a different pronoun or taking hormone therapy, I've noticed that a good amount of them freeing themselves from one gender stereotype only to put themselves in the other. There is a very firm one to one transition that happens, and most transgenders and transexuals abide by these mostly because of a long period of being seen as the gender they are not. It probably stems from the fact that they are so eager to want others to see them as the gender they actually are that they go along with society's views of the stereotypes.
While I'm very glad that trans rights are becoming a bigger priority in recent years, it's also unfortunate that they're just another group that emphasizes the "importance" that the gender binary system holds in out current society. I'd like to see more people talking about the intersexed because they often have to face with a lot of internal and external conflict because while their gender may match their sex there is not actual name for them other than intersex- despite the large spectrum of variations that could occur.
It is hypocritical for me to say that it's unfortunate these intersex people cannot label themselves, but the only way for attention and concern to be brought up for others is for a name to be given to everything. Humans like to categorize things, they like label things. There have been names that were created but they never caught on or really stuck around. More than often people simply use their own pronoun and insist on an other option when asked about their gender or sex.
It's great that some individuals have such a firm grip on their self-identity, but it's a long road to get to that point. To be able to question a part of yourself that the rest of society sees as a basic foundation to be human, is the path to getting to know yourself better. It was mentioned in a documentary I watched but the speaker had been correct that this questioning "makes you stronger as a person".
Our current society as it is, isn't ready for anything as radical as the degeneration of the gender binary system. And honestly I don't think it ever will be. Some stereotypes may fade but others will rise in their place. The very idea and recognition that there is a gender binary takes a blunt pointing out to and isn't offered until much high education and that is only if you take the right courses.
It isn't only evolution that takes years to occur but so does a cultural change to the basic foundations of human identity. Hell, in the amount of time it would take for it to occur, the human brain may degenerate enough that we can't even do deeper thinking.
What I had wanted to mention was how despite my agreement that the gender binary is rubbish, I still manage to be supportive of the LGBT community and especially the trans one. And at the same time I fight with the thought of giving myself a label just so it would be easier for others and myself. It's so much easier after all to say and think that I'm attracted to femininity (especially since femininity is completely arbitrary) than simply being open to everything that may enter my life.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Proud vs. Amused
Feeling absurdly proud and amused because my suspicions that my second brother was seeing a girl has been confirmed. I'm pleased to announce my brother are now both dating, one at the very late age of 29 and the other 27 by tomorrow.
They're late starters but I hope things turn out well for them.
And I hope my mother doesn't find out about my second brother dating or a terribly awkward interrogation will soon ensue.
Also my cousin offered me a part-time job that I took, it's only for a couple weeks but if I work the hours she mentioned I should get at least 900-1000 dollars in two weeks which I'm happy with. I applied for a government job that my mother mentioned and I'll be taking the examination session next week. If I pass it then I'll head to the interviews. The results of this will decide whether I'll be continuing my schooling so let's see how things go.
I'm not surprisingly neutral about the possible results. anyways it's too early to speculate about those things. I'm going to need to go shopping for some appropriate interviewing clothes.
Also, never buying another apple product ever again.
They're late starters but I hope things turn out well for them.
And I hope my mother doesn't find out about my second brother dating or a terribly awkward interrogation will soon ensue.
Also my cousin offered me a part-time job that I took, it's only for a couple weeks but if I work the hours she mentioned I should get at least 900-1000 dollars in two weeks which I'm happy with. I applied for a government job that my mother mentioned and I'll be taking the examination session next week. If I pass it then I'll head to the interviews. The results of this will decide whether I'll be continuing my schooling so let's see how things go.
I'm not surprisingly neutral about the possible results. anyways it's too early to speculate about those things. I'm going to need to go shopping for some appropriate interviewing clothes.
Also, never buying another apple product ever again.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Bribed vs. Bargained
It wasn't too long ago I was both laughing and shaking my head at a post I saw on Tumblr where a man admitted to bribing his gay son with new laptops and such to not be gay.
To me it just spoke how completely ignorant and terrible some people can be. On the other hand his son is getting a lot of new nice stuff while at the same time suffering at the hand knowing his parents have decided spoiling and bribing him is a great way of shaping his character. That they will literally buy and do anything to make sure he is 'normal'.
I am pretty unfit so when my parents told me they would buy me a car if I got in better shape I wasn't sure how to react. I mean a car would be nice- if i could you know DRIVE. Honestly I rather have a new computer but I think that would go against what they want for me. Unbeknowst to them I've already been eating better and actually excersising, shocker I know. Of course now I've messed up the nerves in my foot or something and I can't walk without sharp pain to go through my right foot so meh.
Also I'm pretty sure Vic knows about me. It's kind of freaking me out cause he's being all supportive and stuff and shows me all these lgbt articles. Of course then he says something douchebaggy and then I don't know anymore.
I'm not sure if this post was about lgbt stuff or my parents bribing me to get off the computer and going outside more.
----
Which reminds me, my mom wants me to apply for a full time job for a call centre for the government. The pay is pretty great around 50k annually, I really need an income if I want to get a PC and ever move out of my parent's place. But the thing is I would have to drop out of school to work, my mom says she wants me to work a year and then go back but I don't think I would go back if I stopped.
I don't know she's getting Victor to apply too. I guess I'll apply and see if I get an interview before I decide anything. Knowing me though I won't get passed the interview. I'm no good at formal things sigh.
To me it just spoke how completely ignorant and terrible some people can be. On the other hand his son is getting a lot of new nice stuff while at the same time suffering at the hand knowing his parents have decided spoiling and bribing him is a great way of shaping his character. That they will literally buy and do anything to make sure he is 'normal'.
I am pretty unfit so when my parents told me they would buy me a car if I got in better shape I wasn't sure how to react. I mean a car would be nice- if i could you know DRIVE. Honestly I rather have a new computer but I think that would go against what they want for me. Unbeknowst to them I've already been eating better and actually excersising, shocker I know. Of course now I've messed up the nerves in my foot or something and I can't walk without sharp pain to go through my right foot so meh.
Also I'm pretty sure Vic knows about me. It's kind of freaking me out cause he's being all supportive and stuff and shows me all these lgbt articles. Of course then he says something douchebaggy and then I don't know anymore.
I'm not sure if this post was about lgbt stuff or my parents bribing me to get off the computer and going outside more.
----
Which reminds me, my mom wants me to apply for a full time job for a call centre for the government. The pay is pretty great around 50k annually, I really need an income if I want to get a PC and ever move out of my parent's place. But the thing is I would have to drop out of school to work, my mom says she wants me to work a year and then go back but I don't think I would go back if I stopped.
I don't know she's getting Victor to apply too. I guess I'll apply and see if I get an interview before I decide anything. Knowing me though I won't get passed the interview. I'm no good at formal things sigh.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Happy Birthday to Meeeee
Because it's been a month and a day since I last published something and not deleted it here is an obligation post informing you all that I am now a 20 year old person.
Hoorays and congratulations will be taken as comments below.
Good day to you all.
Hoorays and congratulations will be taken as comments below.
Good day to you all.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Rights vs. Laws
I'm sure everyone has heard about Amendment 1 in North Carolina.
You have no idea the amount of frustration and disappointment I felt when I found out about it. Also it's fuelled by so much bigotry and stupidity I don't even know where to begin. These people are so busy disallowing someone the right to be seen officially as a couple in the eyes of the law that they've forfeited their own rights and possibly compromised the integrity of proper domestic violence protection, child custody laws and other important laws that protect the people.
They wave their stupid banners that shout out that they're protecting marriage.
DO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT MARRIAGE IS?
Cause I'm pretty sure you don't.
Marriage was created a contract between families. For a girl to marry was to be bribed and shoved away by her father to her husband. Men married for an heir to their lands and fortunes and to gain the dowry in whatever form it came in, livestock, money, land etc.
There is not sacred sanctity to marriage you idiots. Marriage only changed when ideas of marrying for love and intimacy came about.
People shouldn't have be able to vote on other's rights. Because then they're not rights. What you're doing is sticking you stupid dumb ass nosy self into someone elses private life. SOMEONE WHO YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN KNOW. And just because a man wants to marry another man, IT DOESN'T MEAN IT HAS ANY AFFECT ON YOUR MARRIAGE. And if you think it does then your marriage wasn't worht much in the first place.
There are people in North Carolina now suffering because of this stupid amendment because their civil union, their domestic partnerships have been nullified. Gay or straight, it doesn't fucking matter because apparently to these people the only acceptable relationship between a man and woman is through marriage.
Is marriage is so fucking sacred and traditional why do so many people get divorced?
Now see I wasn't going to rant about this because I know it would only be messy.
But I read an article today that two women were ARRESTED in North Carolina after Amendment 1 passed for asking to get a marriage license. This couple was ARRESTED for simply asking, and stepping out to protest against the hideously narrow-minded, uneducated decisions of the people in Norht Carolina that has basically denied them the right to love and live with who they want.
The funny thing is in the exact same day Amendment 1 passed, Argentina passed a bill unanimously allowing for people to freely change their sex to match their genders without needing to go to a psychiatrist and being diagnosed with gender dysphoria. This bill also allows them to have access to FREE hormone treatment.
Argentina did this unanimously yet, North Carolina a state in the United States cannot even allow people who are happy as who they are and being with another person to be with them in any kind of legal union because they are too busy yelling out only certain parts of the bible and slamming the LGBT community with the fucking book.
I just.
I just can't.
The fact that something like this happened, the fact that Obama felt he was forced to announce his stand on marriage between same-sex couples is ridiculous.
I mean holy fuck, let people do what they want. It's not like they want to run into your house and rape your children or something. they just want to get married. It's none of your fucking business, nor do you have the right to decide someone elses relationship status.
How would you like it one day if someone grabbed you by the arm smashed you into a stranger, forced rings onto your hands and told you you were now engaged? You wouldn't like that very much either would you.
Well in this case you're ripping two people apart slapping them an unsigned marriage license and burning it in front of their eyes while telling them they don't deserve to be treated like a person.
You have no idea the amount of frustration and disappointment I felt when I found out about it. Also it's fuelled by so much bigotry and stupidity I don't even know where to begin. These people are so busy disallowing someone the right to be seen officially as a couple in the eyes of the law that they've forfeited their own rights and possibly compromised the integrity of proper domestic violence protection, child custody laws and other important laws that protect the people.
They wave their stupid banners that shout out that they're protecting marriage.
DO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW WHAT MARRIAGE IS?
Cause I'm pretty sure you don't.
Marriage was created a contract between families. For a girl to marry was to be bribed and shoved away by her father to her husband. Men married for an heir to their lands and fortunes and to gain the dowry in whatever form it came in, livestock, money, land etc.
There is not sacred sanctity to marriage you idiots. Marriage only changed when ideas of marrying for love and intimacy came about.
People shouldn't have be able to vote on other's rights. Because then they're not rights. What you're doing is sticking you stupid dumb ass nosy self into someone elses private life. SOMEONE WHO YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN KNOW. And just because a man wants to marry another man, IT DOESN'T MEAN IT HAS ANY AFFECT ON YOUR MARRIAGE. And if you think it does then your marriage wasn't worht much in the first place.
There are people in North Carolina now suffering because of this stupid amendment because their civil union, their domestic partnerships have been nullified. Gay or straight, it doesn't fucking matter because apparently to these people the only acceptable relationship between a man and woman is through marriage.
Is marriage is so fucking sacred and traditional why do so many people get divorced?
Now see I wasn't going to rant about this because I know it would only be messy.
But I read an article today that two women were ARRESTED in North Carolina after Amendment 1 passed for asking to get a marriage license. This couple was ARRESTED for simply asking, and stepping out to protest against the hideously narrow-minded, uneducated decisions of the people in Norht Carolina that has basically denied them the right to love and live with who they want.
The funny thing is in the exact same day Amendment 1 passed, Argentina passed a bill unanimously allowing for people to freely change their sex to match their genders without needing to go to a psychiatrist and being diagnosed with gender dysphoria. This bill also allows them to have access to FREE hormone treatment.
Argentina did this unanimously yet, North Carolina a state in the United States cannot even allow people who are happy as who they are and being with another person to be with them in any kind of legal union because they are too busy yelling out only certain parts of the bible and slamming the LGBT community with the fucking book.
I just.
I just can't.
The fact that something like this happened, the fact that Obama felt he was forced to announce his stand on marriage between same-sex couples is ridiculous.
I mean holy fuck, let people do what they want. It's not like they want to run into your house and rape your children or something. they just want to get married. It's none of your fucking business, nor do you have the right to decide someone elses relationship status.
How would you like it one day if someone grabbed you by the arm smashed you into a stranger, forced rings onto your hands and told you you were now engaged? You wouldn't like that very much either would you.
Well in this case you're ripping two people apart slapping them an unsigned marriage license and burning it in front of their eyes while telling them they don't deserve to be treated like a person.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Meh vs. Whatever
It's summer yeah, but I'm starting Spring classes on Wednesday. Also I'm working my volunteer hours, so my supervisor has more to say in my letter I'm having her write for me.
At this point though I've pretty much given up any ideas of being accepted into the Social Work program. It's sort of a combination of no hope and being unsure. I mean I really like being in Sociology, but I know a degree in it won't really get me where I need to be.
I mean I'll still at least try, but with my grades, my lack of experience and my meh reference letters I don't really expect anything other than a rejection letter.
Don't mind the rather depressing post, I've been in a crappy mood as of late.
At this point though I've pretty much given up any ideas of being accepted into the Social Work program. It's sort of a combination of no hope and being unsure. I mean I really like being in Sociology, but I know a degree in it won't really get me where I need to be.
I mean I'll still at least try, but with my grades, my lack of experience and my meh reference letters I don't really expect anything other than a rejection letter.
Don't mind the rather depressing post, I've been in a crappy mood as of late.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Work vs. Entertainment
I am about to embark on a trip. An incredibly long, risky trip all for the sake of a final project for my research methods class. I have not yet decided on the final goal as of yet, but know this. Over the next week or two I will be:
-rewatching Rizzoli and Isles
-rewatching Grey's anatomy
-rewatching Xena
-rewatching Glee
-watching ER
-watching Buffy
-watching Ghost Whisperer
-watching Saved by the Bell
If I should disembark my route and end up in the bowls of distraction and obsession I hope you all remember me well and that my intentions were pure and good.
These are my final words before I go.
I love you all.
-rewatching Rizzoli and Isles
-rewatching Grey's anatomy
-rewatching Xena
-rewatching Glee
-watching ER
-watching Buffy
-watching Ghost Whisperer
-watching Saved by the Bell
If I should disembark my route and end up in the bowls of distraction and obsession I hope you all remember me well and that my intentions were pure and good.
These are my final words before I go.
I love you all.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
In Pain vs. Tired
I hate drinking. And rowdy, loud places where people scream in my ear half the night.
Give me a quiet night by myself anytime over that.
I have a headache, shut the fuck up. I'm allowed to be a hermit. I mean hell we were waiting for twenty minutes and I already had it before I even drank anything.
Give me a quiet night by myself anytime over that.
I have a headache, shut the fuck up. I'm allowed to be a hermit. I mean hell we were waiting for twenty minutes and I already had it before I even drank anything.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Disgusting vs Vile
HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF WOMEN.
PRE-PROGRAMMED FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE.
As you read this, women across America are reading something very different: an advertisement (fig. 1) scientifically formulated to enhance their perception of men who drink Molson. The ad shown below, currently running in Cosmopolitan magazine, is a perfectly tuned combination of words and images designed by trained professionals. Women who are exposed to it experience a very positive feeling. A feeling which they will later project directly onto you. Triggering the process is as simple as ordering a Molson Canadian (fig. 2).
…
Extravagent dinners. Subtitled movies. Floral arrangements tied together with little pieces of hay. It gets old. And it gets expensive, depleting funds that could go to a new set of of 20-inch rims. But thanks to the miracle of Twin Advertising Technology, you can achieve success without putting in any time or effort. So drop the bouquet and pick up a Molson Canadian…
An ad that plays on the ridiculously old stereotype of men being more intelligent than women. In which women are portrayed as easily manipulated, and shows how the marketing of this product is completely aimed towards the stereotypical "masculine" man. Also shows that the marketing team is probably only be comprised of men. I don't drink beer, but theres' no way I'm ever buying Molson Canadian after seeing something like this.
Original source
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Sigh.
Oh look.
Another day avoiding discreet accusations. And subtle goadings.
I just want to live on my own when these things happen.
Another day avoiding discreet accusations. And subtle goadings.
I just want to live on my own when these things happen.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Just read these.
In Toronto a U of T student was given to advice from a cop on how to prevent rape.
-"Don't dress like a slut"
In Waterloo for the student elections posters were plastered over the posters of female candidates.
-"THE TRUTH. The brightest woman this Earth ever created was Marie Curie, the mother of the nuclear bomb. You tell me if the plan of women leading men is still a good idea."
-"Don't dress like a slut"
In Waterloo for the student elections posters were plastered over the posters of female candidates.
-"THE TRUTH. The brightest woman this Earth ever created was Marie Curie, the mother of the nuclear bomb. You tell me if the plan of women leading men is still a good idea."
Monday, January 30, 2012
Discrimination vs. Discriminating
I'm sure people can tell that I try to be as open minded as possible about things and I like to think I try my best now to be accepting and as non-prejudice as possible. This could possibly be because I'm a member of a large variety of groups who are stereotyped, and hated.
I identify as female, I'm Chinese and I'm pretty gay. (I'm getting better at saying that word now see?)
I mean the most discrimination I face from day to day is because I'm female. But that's mostly from my family- which is kinda sad actually but anyways. I didn't really realize it until my prof mentioned it in my women studies class last week how completely divided the groups of the oppressed were. I mean in the end we're all fighting for the rights to live in society as who we are. And our suppressors are mostly of the same origin as well.
I don't want to sound accusatory when I say the adult white males of society. But honestly that's really where most suppressors originate from. I'm not turning in the typical feminist when I say patriarchy- I'm saying it because it's the freakin' truth. Our society runs on the societal cultural norms created by European- white- patriarchal society. And the only reason this idea has become such an issue that mostly receives snorts and eye rolls is because those white male suppressors who hold most of the powerful positions in societal make it seems eye-rolling necessary. It makes it seem completely ridiculous and is a notion that should be regarded with only exasperation. It's what they want, and they succeed every day.
Anyways, with oppressed populations of the people divided and in various cases against each other it's no wonder it takes such a longer time for things to be changed and dealt with. As the saying goes divide and conquer, and in the case of all the different kind of human rights in the world we need to be united in order for things to change quicker and for the better.
I get it though. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you're not sexist, or racist and the same can be definitely said about the others. But if you think about it for people like me in which you're a member of more than just one oppressed group, it's kind of puzzling why one earth you're fighting for rights for only one aspect of who you are.
On one hand you're fighting for equal rights in the workplace for men and women, the next you're doing it again for non-Caucasians and then you're doing it again and again. It's the same with various areas that people fight for equity and equality for. It happened with interracial marriage and now it's happening with same-sex marriage. I mean even if it were reversed and same-sex marriage was accepted and interracial wasn't things would be no different if you were in an interracial same--sex relationship.
Doesn't it just make so much more sense if people were to put aside their differences and strive for a goal they all want? Just because you may not be included in a certain group of people doesn't mean you shouldn't care about them. They're still people and they still have rights, freedoms and feelings. Isn't that enough to grant them the equal rights that everyone wants?
I identify as female, I'm Chinese and I'm pretty gay. (I'm getting better at saying that word now see?)
I mean the most discrimination I face from day to day is because I'm female. But that's mostly from my family- which is kinda sad actually but anyways. I didn't really realize it until my prof mentioned it in my women studies class last week how completely divided the groups of the oppressed were. I mean in the end we're all fighting for the rights to live in society as who we are. And our suppressors are mostly of the same origin as well.
I don't want to sound accusatory when I say the adult white males of society. But honestly that's really where most suppressors originate from. I'm not turning in the typical feminist when I say patriarchy- I'm saying it because it's the freakin' truth. Our society runs on the societal cultural norms created by European- white- patriarchal society. And the only reason this idea has become such an issue that mostly receives snorts and eye rolls is because those white male suppressors who hold most of the powerful positions in societal make it seems eye-rolling necessary. It makes it seem completely ridiculous and is a notion that should be regarded with only exasperation. It's what they want, and they succeed every day.
Anyways, with oppressed populations of the people divided and in various cases against each other it's no wonder it takes such a longer time for things to be changed and dealt with. As the saying goes divide and conquer, and in the case of all the different kind of human rights in the world we need to be united in order for things to change quicker and for the better.
I get it though. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you're not sexist, or racist and the same can be definitely said about the others. But if you think about it for people like me in which you're a member of more than just one oppressed group, it's kind of puzzling why one earth you're fighting for rights for only one aspect of who you are.
On one hand you're fighting for equal rights in the workplace for men and women, the next you're doing it again for non-Caucasians and then you're doing it again and again. It's the same with various areas that people fight for equity and equality for. It happened with interracial marriage and now it's happening with same-sex marriage. I mean even if it were reversed and same-sex marriage was accepted and interracial wasn't things would be no different if you were in an interracial same--sex relationship.
Doesn't it just make so much more sense if people were to put aside their differences and strive for a goal they all want? Just because you may not be included in a certain group of people doesn't mean you shouldn't care about them. They're still people and they still have rights, freedoms and feelings. Isn't that enough to grant them the equal rights that everyone wants?
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Gender Neutral Parenting: Natural vs Forced
I recently read an article on the ten myths on gender neutral parenting. You can read it here
We've talked about it a little in my Gender Relations class last semester but other than that, I think the conclusion the prof settled on was that people focus too much on girl and boy which I agree with completely. I think raising a child with gender neutrality in mind is a great thing, it's the beginning of breaking stereotypical gender roles which are so prevalent in society that it limits males and females form being completely themselves for fear of appearing not their gender.
And I think when it comes to raising kids you should let them be who they are, which is why when I read about transsexual kids nowadays I get super hopeful for a better future. But you know on TV or even listening to others talk about it, it really seems like they're forcing it too much.
I get it. I do. But here's an example of what really bothers me.
Yellow has somehow become known as a gender neutral colour.
The problem is that why is yellow a gender neutral colour? Why can't pink or blue, or green? Aren't all colours gender neutral?
If you think yellow is a gender neutral colour you're inadvertently reinforcing the idea that pink is for girls and that blue and green are for boys. You know what would be easier? Keeping the room white, and then painting it when your kid has a favourite colour by their own opinion and choice.
It really bothers me when you go walk through the baby's clothing section and see all the girl's clothes are pink and have Dora the Explorer on it and the boy's clothes actually have a variety of colours sporting cars, and horses and power rangers and stuff.
My professor mentioned that this one couple kept the sex of their newborn baby a secret because they didn't think it mattered. Because it doesn't. Whether their child is a boy or a girl, it really doesn't and yet their friends and family got so outraged about it they got angry phone calls and emails. It's completely insane how much society puts so much emphasis on someone's gender, on their sex.
The first thing someone asks when a child is born is their sex. Not if they're healthy, not if the mother is ok, not if there were any complications during the birth. The first thing they ask, that they need to desperately know is the baby's sex.
The child will gain their own interests whether they're along the lines of typical female or male interests then thats, that. Children don't need their parents to coddle them into gender roles. Society does that all on it's own, the parents should be the ones guiding their children to be themselves, they should be there to support their children no matter their interests or their preferences. They should be there with their children to fight against society in order for their children to live happily as them, not what other people tell them to be.
Gender neutrality isn't about painting the walls yellow and making their clothes yellow. It's not about not buying your kid dolls or cars to play with. It's about letting your kid grow up to like what they like and to be who they are. It's about loving them and caring for them not caring about the opinions of others.
If I ever have a daughter who likes pink, wears dresses, make-up and dates boys I won't care as long as she's safe, happy and being who they want to be. Or if I have a daughter who grew up like me hating dresses, never wearing make up and for the first 12 years of her life hating the colour pink I'll be just fine with that too.
We've talked about it a little in my Gender Relations class last semester but other than that, I think the conclusion the prof settled on was that people focus too much on girl and boy which I agree with completely. I think raising a child with gender neutrality in mind is a great thing, it's the beginning of breaking stereotypical gender roles which are so prevalent in society that it limits males and females form being completely themselves for fear of appearing not their gender.
And I think when it comes to raising kids you should let them be who they are, which is why when I read about transsexual kids nowadays I get super hopeful for a better future. But you know on TV or even listening to others talk about it, it really seems like they're forcing it too much.
I get it. I do. But here's an example of what really bothers me.
Yellow has somehow become known as a gender neutral colour.
The problem is that why is yellow a gender neutral colour? Why can't pink or blue, or green? Aren't all colours gender neutral?
If you think yellow is a gender neutral colour you're inadvertently reinforcing the idea that pink is for girls and that blue and green are for boys. You know what would be easier? Keeping the room white, and then painting it when your kid has a favourite colour by their own opinion and choice.
It really bothers me when you go walk through the baby's clothing section and see all the girl's clothes are pink and have Dora the Explorer on it and the boy's clothes actually have a variety of colours sporting cars, and horses and power rangers and stuff.
My professor mentioned that this one couple kept the sex of their newborn baby a secret because they didn't think it mattered. Because it doesn't. Whether their child is a boy or a girl, it really doesn't and yet their friends and family got so outraged about it they got angry phone calls and emails. It's completely insane how much society puts so much emphasis on someone's gender, on their sex.
The first thing someone asks when a child is born is their sex. Not if they're healthy, not if the mother is ok, not if there were any complications during the birth. The first thing they ask, that they need to desperately know is the baby's sex.
The child will gain their own interests whether they're along the lines of typical female or male interests then thats, that. Children don't need their parents to coddle them into gender roles. Society does that all on it's own, the parents should be the ones guiding their children to be themselves, they should be there to support their children no matter their interests or their preferences. They should be there with their children to fight against society in order for their children to live happily as them, not what other people tell them to be.
Gender neutrality isn't about painting the walls yellow and making their clothes yellow. It's not about not buying your kid dolls or cars to play with. It's about letting your kid grow up to like what they like and to be who they are. It's about loving them and caring for them not caring about the opinions of others.
If I ever have a daughter who likes pink, wears dresses, make-up and dates boys I won't care as long as she's safe, happy and being who they want to be. Or if I have a daughter who grew up like me hating dresses, never wearing make up and for the first 12 years of her life hating the colour pink I'll be just fine with that too.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Ugly crying vs. Horrible sobbing
As the title suggests I was crying quite hard like a minute in. Ugh, it's just...so horrible. As horrible as this makes America, this is all over the world. Rewatching it now and crying again. Going to bed and weeping now.
Asking vs. Sort of Answering
When people ask me what I'm majoring in which I have one long answer.
First I say Sociology, then I add in that I'm planning on transferring into Social Work.
For the response theres a 50/50 chance of what it'll be.
1) What's Sociology?
2) Oh, Social work.
Clearly people are either not impressed by my chosen career, or they decide to ask me the hardest question to answer for me.
As I'm usually too lazy I just say it's the study of society.
But here's a nice little written post by someone, it doesn't explain Sociology but everything it says is basically what I love about the field of study. I like most of what's written in it.
"Society is going to try to shape you into who it thinks you are meant to be. It’s going to label you. It’s going to set a path for your life and make it very difficult to deviate from it. It’s going to bombard you from every angle and tell you over and over and over again that this is who you are meant to be.
But that doesn’t mean it’s true."
the entire thing is here
I plan on minoring in sociology if I get into Social Work. Mostly because Sociology has taught me so much about how people behave in populations. That the expected parts of life, aren't set in stone and there is so much more, there is so much possibility. I like to think that I've learned to become a better person through Sociology.
And I want to be able to apply what I've learned from my Soci lessons into an applicable career in which human perspective, understanding and openness and honestly help people who are misunderstood, undermined and feared.
First I say Sociology, then I add in that I'm planning on transferring into Social Work.
For the response theres a 50/50 chance of what it'll be.
1) What's Sociology?
2) Oh, Social work.
Clearly people are either not impressed by my chosen career, or they decide to ask me the hardest question to answer for me.
As I'm usually too lazy I just say it's the study of society.
But here's a nice little written post by someone, it doesn't explain Sociology but everything it says is basically what I love about the field of study. I like most of what's written in it.
"Society is going to try to shape you into who it thinks you are meant to be. It’s going to label you. It’s going to set a path for your life and make it very difficult to deviate from it. It’s going to bombard you from every angle and tell you over and over and over again that this is who you are meant to be.
But that doesn’t mean it’s true."
the entire thing is here
I plan on minoring in sociology if I get into Social Work. Mostly because Sociology has taught me so much about how people behave in populations. That the expected parts of life, aren't set in stone and there is so much more, there is so much possibility. I like to think that I've learned to become a better person through Sociology.
And I want to be able to apply what I've learned from my Soci lessons into an applicable career in which human perspective, understanding and openness and honestly help people who are misunderstood, undermined and feared.
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